Yes, the courts will remain closed. This is devastating news for many people in the process of a divorce especially if you were on the court’s calendar. Perhaps you want to divorce now. Maybe you are divorced but a problem or issue has developed that needs to be addressed and resolved.
If so, do not expect the court system to help anytime soon. New filings are still not being accepted except in the case of an emergency and scheduled court appearances are being done by Skype without you. There seems to be no end in sight and there is speculation that the courts will not open until late summer or fall. What does this mean? You cannot rely on the court system.
What can you do? Do not go to the courthouse –– take control of your own destiny. Use the alternative dispute resolution processes available and bypass the court. Through collaborative divorce, mediation, and parent coordination you can successfully resolve your legal issues with your spouse (or ex-spouse) and your attorney.
HOW CAN YOU MOVE FORWARD WITH YOUR DIVORCE?
- If you already have an attorney: a. Ask for settlement proposals or stipulations to be drafted finalizing the divorce. Spend the time with your attorney narrowing the issues and listen to their advice and counsel as to the best outcome you can expect. b. If you have an attorney that is willing to do a Skype or Zoom conference try to set up a four-way or at least ask that the attorneys speak about resolving the matter. Do not accept that your divorce must wait.
- Use a form of alternative dispute resolution such as mediation, collaborative divorce, parental coordination:
a. Mediation
Mediation can be conducted by Skype or Zoom. I have been successfully conducting sessions and have finalized a number of agreements and have been able to have them signed via Zoom. Mediation is conducted by a mediator who facilitates discussion, outlines issues and moves the parties to a resolution. A mediator is neutral and does not give advice or advocate for either party
b. Collaborative Divorce
If you have a pending collaborative divorce insist on preparing an agenda; discuss with your attorney and your spouse how to move forward. Meetings can be conducted via Zoom or Skype. Information needed can be gathered and prepared. Visits via Zoom, phone, or Skype can be arranged with the team assembled to give you the expertise and support you need to finalize the divorce. You can meet via zoom or have phone conferences with the financial specialist, the divorce coach, or child specialist. The team can still be assembled or if a team is already in place the members can be contacted. You can even suggest a zoom meeting with your spouse and attorneys on how best to handle the collaborative process amid the Covid19 crisis.
Why collaborative you might ask? Collaborative divorce helps people divorce so their children are not destroyed by divorce and they do not destroy themselves in the process. The parties make a pledge not to go to court and with their attorneys work together to obtain the best outcome. The most comprehensive, creative, complete, and well thought agreements have been drafted in my collaborative cases.
c. Parent Coordination
Questions about parental access during the corona virus? How do you handle childcare if you are an essential worker and you have children at home that you need to keep occupied and home school? Are you a first responder that needs to maintain a relationship with your child but is concerned about passing on the virus to the children or your ex-spouse? Is your ex using the Covid19 to stop or limit your visits? Perhaps your ex or current spouse is overly protective and being unreasonable about access. Has someone you know become ill or died as a result of COVID-19 and your children need to be told? Do you need a code of conduct in the house because of the shut in as you are in the process of divorcing and tensions are high? Is your marriage struggling due to the added stress and it’s affecting the children? Who can help with each of these concerns? A parent coordinator can help you discuss, problem solve, and open lines of communication in an efficient way so you can continue to coparent amid COVID-19.
I recently had a couple who had to adjust the access schedules because the father was a doctor working with COVID-19 patients. We setup a face time schedule and the children prepared a uTube video honoring their Dad in his efforts and told them how much they missed him. They created a memory that will last forever.
LITIGATED CASES
If you are already on the court calendar in the middle of a litigated divorce ask to speak to your attorney about arranging a court conference via Skype. Prepare with your attorney before the conference discussing what you need to bring to the court’s attention in the limited time given. Being prepared will facilitate movement forward and the court can issue orders during this time. Again, take this opportunity and time you have now to speak to your attorney and allow them to counsel you and ask whatever questions you may have.
LEARN FROM THE PANDEMIC
Seek counsel and choose someone with the mindset of being a counselor and not just a litigator. A very accomplished seasoned attorney once told me if a lawyer does their job there is no reason to litigate or try a case. A good attorney knows the law, listens, and advises. We attorneys know how a case should conclude. Why go through the court and spend time, energy, and money when you can get your, get out jail free card and pass “go,” without the courts being involved.
The courtroom is not the place to divorce because you learn nothing but how to further polarize your family, destroy your finances, and resolve nothing. Alternative dispute resolution particularly collaboration can guide you, support you, and get you where you need to be emerging as a better person in a better place where you can start a better life.
